


Pink Party Favours!

by millygal



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 17:43:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10621911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/millygal/pseuds/millygal
Summary: Never before has Tony been *this* embarrassed!





	

**Author's Note:**

> Crack crack crack! And thanks to wings128 and this picture...I could not get it out my head!  
> 

Tony shakes his head inside his helmet and wishes for the first time in about four decades, that the ground would open up and swallow him, "This is neither big nor clever, guys!"

It's hard to tell inside the giant metal suit but he's fairly sure he can hear children across the street catcalling, and there's a contractor hanging out of his van wolf whistling and pursing his lips in a less than polite manner, "Really, you think this bothers me? Well think again!"

It's been well documented on every social media platform that Tony Stark is both a huge exhibitionist _and_ proud of it! Yet, today, with the entire of the Upper East Side starting to gather on the street in front of him, he's beginning to understand how Happy and Pepper must have felt all those times they had to dodge another inappropriate bullet on his behalf, "Okay look, it's been ten minutes, surely I can leave now, right?!"

It's fine, it's totally fine, he can handle it, he lost the bet after all.

Maybe if he released a statement saying that Clint stole the suit and spray painted it this colour, he could avoid all questions, perhaps even get away with saying he wasn't the one inside...Or perhaps not!

Tony turns slightly to his left and spots Clint, Nat and Steve all openly gawking, with camera phones in hand, not acting remotely superhero-ish, "Fuck OFF!"

Clint steps forward, phone still pointed in Tony's direction, and proceeds to go down on one knee to get a better recording angle, evil smirk plastered all over his face, "Come on now Tinfoil Boy...you promised. First the twirl, then the show and tell!"

The heavy hearted resigned sigh reverberates throughout Tony's helmet, bouncing back against his flaming cheeks, "FINE! Just, make it quick. Douche-Nozzles, you're all Douche-Nozzles!"

Nat and Steve settle cross legged on the sidewalk in front of him just as Thor touches down with an annoyingly graceful thud, "Did I miss the festivities, has the Man of Iron done his dance of the defeated?!"

Tony chooses to ignore the drape wearing male model in favour of pointing his metal covered fingers in a ballet style motion before he realises he can feel his entire body vibrating. Looking up he sees the HULK come sliding down the side of the building opposite and decides he's officially never making a bet with any of these bastards ever again, "Really? REALLY! Bruce let YOU out to play for this?!"

Nat smiles sweetly before scooting over and giving the green meanie space to squat down next to her, "I promised to record it for him."

"Bite me!"

After finally realising that the ground won't in fact swallow him whole, Tony decides it's better over and done with.

Pointing his toes, rotating his wrists, he does a passable impression of a ballet dancer, spinning not once, not twice, but three times before coming to a stop, shoving a gauntlet inside his Victoria Secrets bag and pulling out a very fluffy, very pink, peep hole men's thong.

Flash bulbs go off left right and centre and before he's realised what's happening there's a news crew piling in around him and even Jarvis has abandoned him to a stilted giggle, as if he's chewing on the inside of his non existent cheek, "Traitor!"

"I...I'm sorry sir, but you...you did say, if Thor could out drink you, you'd wear a pink suit and flash a peep hole thong at the general public!"


End file.
